The Liberating Art of Letting Go

Issue No. 25 : Finding freedom in a cluttered and overloaded world

Dawn patrol at Moonlight Beach in Encinitas, California. Photo: Per Håkansson.

I’ve previously shared that I’m working on a masterclass in living better with less, covering how to declutter and simply life in some of the following categories: mindset, possessions, relationships, technology, traveling, and work.

I’m gathering the best stories, the smartest insights, and my own decades long experiences into a 10-week course here on Fewer Better Things. If you’re a paid subscriber, it’s included in the yearly membership fee, if not please subscribe.

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One of the hardest things with simplifying and decluttering is to let go of physical, mental, and emotional clutter. On my current road trip around Southern California, I brought my last bag of old letters and postcards to read.

My intention was to read them all and only save the most important. But then I realized that it would take too much time from the present to dive back into the past, a place that no longer exists. So I picked a few randomly and read them.

It’s was a very emotional experience, as I was traveling into my past life. So what was my takeaway?, I asked myself once done. That I was very much loved and admired for several different personal characteristics and acquired skills.

I was simply seen, heard, understood, and loved, and who can ask for more in life.

I then felt I should keep them all for posterity but realized that they mattered to no one but me (and the sender) so I dumped them all in a covered trash can for recycled paper and left with a very strong and deep feeling of being loved.

I also felt present, lighter, and free from the past – the rewards of letting go.

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In our perpetually connected and consumer-driven society, there’s a constant, almost gravitational pull to accumulate more: more possessions, more experiences, more accomplishments, and certainly, more information.

This relentless push often leaves us feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and strangely unfulfilled. Beneath this striving lies a powerful undercurrent of fear of missing out (FOMO) and a deep, often unconscious, need for control.

But what if the true path to peace and genuine fulfillment lies not in chasing and grasping, but in the profound and liberating act of letting go?

The Weight of Clutter: Beyond the Physical

When we talk about clutter, our minds often jump to overflowing closets or disorganized desks. However, the most insidious forms of clutter are often invisible, silently weighing us down.

• Mental and Emotional Clutter: Imagine your mind as a bustling city. Every unresolved conflict, every lingering regret, every future worry, every self-limiting belief, and every unexpressed emotion adds another building, another traffic jam. This mental and emotional clutter isn’t just inconvenient; it drains our energy, clouds our judgment, and keeps us tethered to the past or anxious about the future. We replay old conversations, anticipate worst-case scenarios, and hold onto narratives that no longer serve us, all under the illusion that by doing so, we maintain some semblance of control over our lives. Yet, this tight grip often ironically binds us to the very unhappiness we wish to escape.

• Information Overload: We live in an age of unprecedented access to information, and it’s a double-edged sword. Our phones buzz constantly, inboxes swell with notifications, and social media feeds relentlessly beckon. We consume news, opinions, trending topics, and endless digital content, often feeling compelled to keep up, to know everything, lest we miss out on a crucial update, a fleeting trend, or a new piece of “essential” knowledge. This constant influx doesn't necessarily make us more informed or wiser; it often leaves us more overwhelmed, fragmented, and ironically, less present in our actual lives. We’re so busy trying to absorb everything that we forget to experience anything deeply.

These forms of clutter, whether tangible or intangible, are often fueled by the belief that if we just hold onto enough, control enough, or know enough, we’ll be safe, happy, or successful. This is where FOMO and the need for control intersect, creating a cycle of accumulation and anxiety.

The Illusion of Control and the Grip of FOMO

At its core, the need for control stems from a natural human desire for security and predictability. We want to orchestrate outcomes, manage perceptions, and safeguard ourselves from uncertainty.

While some level of planning and preparedness is healthy, an excessive need for control often manifests as rigidity, anxiety, and an inability to adapt to life’s inevitable twists and turns.

It can lead us to cling to situations, people, or even ideas long past their expiration date, simply because letting go feels like losing command.

FOMO, on the other hand, is the fear that others might be having rewarding experiences from which we are absent. It’s the nagging feeling that if we’re not constantly engaged, connected, and accumulating, we’ll fall behind, be irrelevant, or simply miss out on something better.